So Lance is Red Bulling It.. Get Over It.

So what IS with all the Lance Armstrong hate going on??

So he admitted he used "performance enhancing drugs".. Uh hello?? My wife does that every morning. Caffeine is "performance enhancing", no? As is creatine, Gatorade, ephedrine, aspirin, Vitamin D, and other so-called "supplements". You've got 13 year-olds "Red Bulling it" 3-4 times a day, just to stay the fuck awake in math class, and we're worried about guys wearing tight pants riding bikes??...

Oh wait, Lance "LIED". He cheated. Well, your banker and your real estate guy lies to you every time you walk in the fucking door. Your President lies every fucking day and you dickheads re-elect him as King.. Why is this so shocking?? Everybody and their dog knew Lance was doping before but NOW, suddenly he's a fucking dick.

But this is different. These guys are our sports idols, our 'heroes' here. They were engaging in illegal activities and are supposed to be "role models" for our impressionable youth....

Well, my young and naive ham n' egger, I'm gonna let you in on something...  the NFL has linebackers that are over 300lbs... at 18 YEARS OLD!! Do you really think that shit is natural?? Yeah, kids get to be 300lbs- ripped, by eating organic apples and tofu, right? The Edmonton Oilers were doing lines of blow off Janet Jones' tits at Glenn Anderson pool parties in between winning Stanley Cups in the 80's! But, no problem having our kids immortalize them and putting their names up in the rafters forever... Didn't Mark fucking Messier miss out on going to Nagano for the Olympics because Wayne Gretzky couldn't get him to put down the crack pipe for two minutes?? But let's name a city street after him??

NEWS FLASH: Lance is not the first cyclist to dope. Fuck no, all those degenerates were doping.  Level playing field. He was just the only 7X winner to get caught though.

Well,  Lance is still the 7X champion in my eyes.

You think it's that fucking easy to win the Tour?? Just stick a needle in your ass and suddenly you're hitting baseballs out of the park, winning Tour de Frances, punching mustaches off your competition while pushing old people down idle elevator shafts?? Arnold Schwarzenegger and Franco Columbu would have 50 titles each. That fat fucker with all the zits on his back at the gym telling you could use a few pounds selling you those dime bags of D-Ball, would be getting sponsored by the USPS to ride bike if that's all it took!

Long live Armstrong's mantra to WIN by using whatever means possible!! You fucking losers just don't get it, crying foul like whiny little bitches...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning you should get jacked up on the sauce to get ahead at the office... All I'm just saying is if you are so fascinated by the Lance Armstrong story that it consumes you with hate and anger, perhaps your life and priorities need a serious makeover.

Perhaps it's just me. I trade stocks. As traders, we're used to getting lied to; whether it's the MMs, hedgies, mutual fund guys, or bankers... you get accustomed to being punched in the face every fucking day by just about every fucking thing for the fucking sake of making a few extra fucking dollars...

Apologies for the rant.. Can you tell US markets are closed today for MLK Day?

You can blow your load in Canadian funds today...

Good Morning.


Manti Te'o and the Idiocy That is AAPL...

I was just sent a personal message that I needed to refocus and give thought on the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend scam.

Well, while I am reluctant to offer any strong opinions lately, I really do need to address a few things here.

Firstly, I must apologize for my recent behavior over the internets lately as I've been consumed by my very own personal fucking financial crisis, fixated, almost haunted, by the idiocy that is AAPL.

I’m getting tossed into lit fireplaces, while sitting in shit soup, with six figure losses, down more than 30% since my all time cocaine highs in September, led lower by everything you could impossibly imagine. Fiscal cliffs, tax selling, demand shortages, supply problems, management issues, options manipulation, increased competition, Foxconn factory workers on strike, Japanese Yens being grape raped,, FED printing presses... you name it, I got fucked by it...

Miraculously, among the black smoke and chards of metal, I am lucky to be still alive to talk about it, but it really doesn’t matter.

The sick, perverted, stock Gods have decided to curse me with a thousand Enrons... one day I'm witnessing Apple Stores selling out of every fucking thing in sight, set to animalistically do glorious lines of blow off escorts; the next, guillotines are stationed in the town square, chopping male anatomy at a furious rate and I find myself next in fucking queue... Consequently it means the cocaine ship to hedonism is sinking and down with it goes all the fucktards, such as myself, who are long AAPL.

Gone are the days of yesterday, when the mocking of asshats with big gay giant screened Samsung phones for being “stupid fucking retards” was fashionable. Today they are the ones celebrating, decked out in their finest clown costumes and Galaxy Note 2's holstered to their hips, dining on the rotting carcasses of overzealous AAPL shareholders.

Anyways, at first glance this fake dead girlfriend fiasco, I thought, 'oh no, Manti Te'o is just another victim of the Interwebs, 'thinking it was a real girl but it's actually a group of hilarious 7th grade boys fucking with him.' Shit like this has been happening since the days of AOL chat rooms. Te'o isn't a liar, he's just a fucking idiot.

But upon further research, I've come to the conclusion that the real scam here, the one all you dicksuckers seemed to have missed, is that big fucking apostrophe in his last name. Who the fuck does this fucker think he is? Lance fucking Armstrong?? You want to fool the masses?? How bout tell them about Notre Dame's "imaginary" defense in the BCS Bowl game.. Now, that's the kind of shit that is believable.!